physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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