: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
