my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize