I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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