i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
