I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
