Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
