I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
