its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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