if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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