Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
...so i touched it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
