butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
