Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
