So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
