Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize