He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
