my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
