can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
