Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
