What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
