very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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