Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
