Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
