The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Found your dick twin last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
