I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
