ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
