I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
