Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
