Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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