we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
