going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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