I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
