P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
