i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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