walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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