I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
