I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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