her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
