and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
