We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
