her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
