"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
