I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
