And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
