everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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