used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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