K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
