I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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