im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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