i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize