i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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