Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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