you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
