Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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