i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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