I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
