My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
