i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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