apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
