Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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