just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
