"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
