tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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